11 SIGNS YOU ARE ON 'THE SPIRITUAL PATH'; Based on my journey so far
I’ve always had a mysterious depth to my ‘self’.
An inner knowing that I was here for more than just a ‘normal’ life (what is normal anyway?).
A higher calling.
As a child, I was drawn to spirituality. Attending a Catholic school, I searched for answers within religion and found myself praying and learning all I could about saints and God in the way that it was taught to me at school. It didn’t take long for me to realise that religion wasn’t necessarily the path I was destined to take so I took the parts that resonated for me about love, kindness, compassion and I left the parts that didn’t feel right for me.
I was drawn to crystals, oracle cards, nature, white magic, prayer and writing, dancing and singing were my tools of self- expression and creativity.
Throughout my childhood and adolescence it came natural to me to do what I could for children and animals that were suffering in some way and I always felt as though it was my responsibility to do something to take that pain away. If not me, then who? I couldn’t understand how everyone didn’t sense that responsibility and deep need to give, nurture and serve all who needed it.
As I grew and aged, I learnt to give to others that which I was unconsciously always yearning for myself; unconditional love and compassion; but in the process, I became extremely comfortable with giving and equally uncomfortable with receiving.
I felt I had so much richness to offer but my views did not seem to be shared by all of my peers at school or in the world in which I lived and although I was always surrounded by people and had many friends and acquaintances, often I felt extremely alone. I felt overly sensitive in comparison to my peers and I felt ‘different’.
I wrote poetry and songs about pain and suffering and in my journal I told stories of those who suffered; I could feel the pain of someone I saw, met or knew about as if it were my own and unknowingly seemed to blend my own energy with theirs, consuming the pain of others and taking it on as my own, unable to stand in the grounding of my own centre when reaching out to help others.
I would move quickly in service to others out of a desperate need to help and then I would find myself yearning for solitude, completely depleted physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I would give of myself but I was never trained in how to ‘top myself back up’ and it certainly didn’t occur naturally to me to do so.
In my adult life, I was drawn to social work, teaching, health coaching and running soul-nourishing events for women as a way to continue my service to the world and follow what I believed to be my ‘soul’s purpose’.
But I found myself more exhausted than ever in these pursuits because yet again, I placed myself in a position of giving unconditionally without boundaries or compassion for myself.
After the birth of my baby boy and my transition into motherhood, I soon realised that I no longer had the energy to give of myself so freely because I now had a little soul relying on me to give of myself to; and to be the best mother i could be, I also needed to nurture myself.
So, I pulled back in my work pursuits over the past 2 years and found myself in a space of ‘student’ once more; in a way I had not yet allowed myself to be.
A student of life, a student of motherhood, a student of the world and soon after, a student of Tantra philosophy and The Esoteric mysteries.
The level of awareness I have found this past year especially has completely transformed my life and my understanding of spirituality and walking a ‘spiritual path’.
I have had to step back in many ways from my innate desire to serve and begin serving myself; so that I can continue to serve from a higher place; a place of compassion not only for others, but first and foremost, for myself.
I have learnt that to be ‘spiritual’ does not just mean to follow the rhythms and cycles of the moon, sit in sacred circles with other women, show kindness and compassion to others, wear crystals, pray and pull daily oracle cards. It is SO much more than that and it requires a lot of inner ‘work’.
In fact, being on a Spiritual path is often far from glamorous.
It involves bringing the unconscious into our consciousness, shining light on our shadows, tearing down the walls we have built to protect ourselves, unmasking the masks we have hidden behind and facing the lower parts of our ‘self’; the parts we have tried so hard to hide from the world and from ourselves.
It is a complete unravelling, a death of sorts in order to experience the re-birth that accompanies it, an unravelling of the parts of our ‘self’ that we have clung to for dear life.
It is a ‘coming home’ to ourselves but before we arrive home, we feel completely lost for a time; a time of darkness and uncertainty.
Here are 11 things you might expect to experience ‘on the path’ based on my journey so far….
1.Often you will feel completely alone in the world.
You will realise that the soul-conversations you deeply yearn to have will only be possible with a hand-full of people. At times you will feel completely alone on the path; as if no one quite understands you. You may find it increasingly difficult to relate to some people but the deeper connections you have in your life and continue to make will grow much stronger. You may find yourself drawn to nature, to stillness, to quieter environments and smaller groups of people. Busy places and events may even feel a little overwhelming. Although you may feel alone, you will enjoy your own company and it will become non-negotiable to have stillness and solitude in every day.
2. Life as you know it will completely change and transform in every area.
The way you perceive reality will completely shift. You will move and stretch and move and stretch some more and find that the box you once placed yourself in will no longer fit who you are growing into.
Your entire life will feel as though it is being destructed and you will begin to construct something completely new for yourself. You may not even know who you are anymore and this can lead to a period of complete overwhelm and grief as you begin to realise that the identity you once clung to is falling away piece by piece. You will realise that many of your goals, ambitions, career, visions and dreams for your future, friendships and relationships no longer serve your highest good and as you realise this, there may be a period of feeling as though you are being swallowed by the dark unknown.
3. Your mind and your ego will grow louder; they will fight to take back control as your soul moves into ‘be-ing’ the dominant force that guides you.
You may find that for a period, you will feel restless and you may turn to the comforts of your ego for support. Old habits and limiting beliefs will rear their heads for a time and you will yoyo through periods of sitting in higher and lower vibrations. This will not last forever though and as you begin to realise that the things your lower nature once turned to no longer feel good, you will slowly phase them out with the things your soul asks of you.
4. You will experience pain and sadness like never before; because you will face all of the things that you once ran from.
There have been days where I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. Days where I have felt so emotionally and physically exhausted that my vitality has completely diminished. It has felt really hard to continue doing ‘the work’ and the deeper I have delved, the more that has popped up to be dealt with.
I have realised that there were years worth of pain that I had not yet dealt with because I had sensed the pain of certain situations and events and then moved quickly to distract myself from it.
The more conscious you commit to becoming, the more of the unconscious that begins to appear; for you cannot have consciousness without first dealing with that which has laid dormant in the unconscious.
But slowly and surely the pain begins to pass; the hold isn’t so strong anymore; and as the pain passes, there will be an emptiness that you will need to deal with; a sense of ‘nothingness’.
You may find yourself in a place where nothing is quite ‘finished’ or ‘flourishing’ yet. You are holding a blank canvas in front of you, unsure of where you are going, while still dealing with the remnants of of ‘what was’. Your ego will search for certainty but your soul will know that nothing is yet certain because you are in a space of letting go of the old to create way for the new; and you do not yet know what ‘the new’ is.
That is the exciting part. You sense something so much greater than you at play; a kind of magic energy surrounding you and within you and you know that anything is possible.
Even in the darkest of moments and days, you are able to come back to stillness and communicate with your soul and it is within the surrender and the silence that you realise all is well and as it should be.
You are on the right path.
5. Your heart will open up wide; you will feel things and see things on a whole new level.
You will feel the energy of others and of yourself with much more intensity. You will tune in to your own body and the rhythms of your unique cycles.
Your heart will know the way and you will ‘sense’ what feels right and what doesn’t with much more ease and certainty.
As your heart begins to open, you may notice that your emotions and moods fluctuate greatly; it will be challenging to keep up sometimes. You may feel 1000 emotions in a day some days and others, particularly when you integrate more stillness into your day, you will feel completely balanced and grounded.
6. People will come in and out of your life more rapidly than ever before.
For a period, you may find that some relationships and friendships fall away, creating space for new ones to come into your life. You may find that some of the people that have been in your life for a long time are not on the same path as you and feel triggered or intimidated by you; or they may just no longer understand you in the way that they believed they had done so before.
You are a blank canvas, continuously evolving, changing and growing and this may seem like ‘a little too much’ for some.
Know that this is ok. We are all on our own paths and the relationships and friendships that are meant to be will flourish and blossom in ways they did not have the opportunity to do so before.
7. You will crave and yearn for solitude and stillness; and you will feel overstimulated and exhausted when you don’t honour the inward cycle you are in.
There will be a time for rest and inward contemplation and a time for play and creativity.
You may find yourself drawn to much more solitude and find that your most important ‘work’ is done in this time.
In the stillness and in meditation you will find that your greatest insights, realisations and inspiration is born into your consciousness.
8. Teachers and mentors will come into your life; When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
People who are on a similar path will begin to appear and you will find yourself drawn to them; as they will find themselves drawn to you.
Teachers who have answers that you may have searched for your entire life will begin to appear.
It is extremely liberating and a time of rediscovering the world and reshaping your consciousness. Your growth and evolution quicken and you find yourself hungry for more…. more knowledge, more wisdom, more answers; and with this comes many more questions.
9. You may find yourself moving slower.
There will not be so much urgency to act quickly; you will need to sit with things for a longer period of time. You will notice the edges begin to soften and the energies of masculine and feminine that you hold within will begin to feel much more balanced.
There will be times to act and times to ponder and you will use discernment in knowing which is which.
10. You will feel exhilarated by what is yet to come; you know that anything is possible and you have trust in the process and trust in yourself.
Even amongst the overwhelm you experience, there will be an inner knowing that remains centred, strong and unwavered.
Every day, you will feel the connection to your soul deepen and you will learn to trust yourself and the process of that which is unfolding more and more as you surrender into the excitement of the mysterious unknown.
11. You will get much better at witnessing your ego, without ‘buying into’ the stories.
You will no longer relate to your thoughts or mind chatter as ‘you’; you will see them for what they are; the outdated ways of those who have come before you; acquired voices that are not yours to hold onto any longer.
Those thoughts and the mind chatter will still be there but the voice of your soul will grow much stronger and it’s gentle whispers will begin to guide your decisions with unwavering wisdom and authentic truth.
It is my wish that this blog post resonates for some of you and provides some comfort on your journey of walking a spiritual path.
As always, sending light, love and healing to all. Thank you for taking the time to read a small slice of my soul x
